I am exploring presence, confrontation and vulnerabilty. They are performalist self-portraits (a term coined by performance artist Hannah Wilke) in which a photographer besides the artist helps facilitate the shot. The idea is to capture the moment in which I awaken. Emotionally driven, I navigate my body through it. I am fully aware of areas that are holding me back from completely dissolving into the natural surroundings. I demonstrate these feelings in order to realize them. It may be a fear of being in the woods alone or what the neighbors might think. Because I am aware, I am performing.
The camera gives me an audience and a place to direct the intention. Also, I am not completely alone in the work. I go back through the images and compare them to the memory. Sometimes they reveal a different story. I am looking for the most grotesque or the most liberating moment. In a way, they are the same experience. I think in order to touch the subtle self you must first become aware of the turbulent self. Barbara Walters asks her celebrity guests about their demons - it's like that. I confront my own grotesque shapes in order to find what is beneath. It is a dance with being human.